It is a crime that oc­curs in our streets, in our towns every night. The prob­lem is that the law does not con­sider it a crime. There is a sig­nif­i­cant sec­tion of the pop­u­lace that de­fends this crime. It is called Mar­i­tal Rape – and an ap­pro­pri­ate trans­la­tion does not ex­ist in many ver­nac­u­lar lan­guages. What would you call it in Pun­jabi? Or do you think Pun­jabis are such sweet, chaste, civilised peo­ple that they do not com­mit such an act?

Pun­jab is no dif­fer­ent from the rest of the coun­try when it comes to rage against the crime of rape. End­less Pun­jabis have shouted to de­mand death for rape or even cas­tra­tion. But the same Pun­jabis are evinc­ing lit­tle in­ter­est now that In­dia is dis­cussing Mar­i­tal Rape law.

The Delhi High Court is now lis­ten­ing to a clutch of pe­ti­tions on the is­sue. The Cen­tre has ten­dered its opin­ion – ask­ing the court to not make any change in the law. The Arvind Ke­jri­wal Delhi gov­ern­ment has also prof­fered sim­i­lar wis­dom. Con­gress party leader Rahul Gandhi has waded into the de­bate, tak­ing a strong stance that the law needed to be changed and the im­punity be­stowed upon men by the act of mar­riage must not be al­lowed to con­tinue.

The is­sue has hardly fig­ured in the on­go­ing po­lit­i­cal con­ver­sa­tion that has gripped Pun­jab wherein all po­lit­i­cal par­ties are claim­ing to have a spe­cial soft cor­ner for women, ready to send hard cash their way.

Talk­ing Pol­i­tics That Goes Right Into Your Bed­room – Be­yond Channi-Sidhu-Bhag­want Mann shenani­gans. Ace jour­nal­ist and an­chor SP Singh in con­ver­sa­tion with poet, aca­d­e­mic and ac­tivist, Mon­ica Ku­mar and Pun­jabi Uni­ver­sity Re­search scholar and ex­pert on Pun­jabi folk­lore and psy­che, Dr Sarab­jit Kaur.

In this episode of “Daleel with SP Singh,” the host raises a ques­tion:  “Why is Mar­i­tal Rape not a burn­ing po­lit­i­cal is­sue?”

Mar­i­tal rape is de­fined as the act of forc­ing one’s spouse into hav­ing sex with­out proper con­sent. You do it to a woman – against her will, with­out her con­sent – you will be a rapist. You do it to your own wife – against her will, with­out her con­sent – you will not be a rapist.

That’s the law: An un­just but com­mon way in which men de­grade and dis­em­power their wives.

In more than 100 coun­tries, you will be con­sid­ered a rapist if you do it. But not in In­dia. In­dia got the law from its colo­nial mas­ters via the In­dian Pe­nal Code in 1860 but they got rid of the no­tion in 1991. We still ex­empt men from such be­hav­iour.

The ex­cep­tion in Sec­tion 375 be­stows the le­gal right upon men to rape their wives.

The UN Com­mit­tee on Elim­i­na­tion of Dis­crim­i­na­tion Against Women (CEDAW) has be­seeched the In­dian gov­ern­ment to crim­i­nal­ize mar­i­tal rape. Set up the post-Nirb­haya tragedy, the Jus­tice JS Verma com­mit­tee had also rec­om­mended the same. Women rights ac­tivists have been de­mand­ing it for so long.

But law con­tin­ues to deny women au­ton­omy or agency over their bod­ies. In In­dia, un­der Sec­tion 375, mar­riage is a li­cence for hus­bands to forcibly rape their wives with im­punity.

Re­mem­ber: rape is rape. What is rape in Canada or Aus­tralia can­not be a non-rape in In­dia. Pun­jabis ea­ger to go to Canada or Aus­tralia must know that if one brother is in a for­eign coun­try and the other is in In­dia, and both treat their wives in the same way, then, un­der the pre­sent law, the brother in Canada or Aus­tralia will be called a rapist, while the one in In­dia will have the right to rape his wife.

Have you made peace with this sit­u­a­tion, or will you join the de­bate? Start talk­ing – to your spouse, to your friends, to your neigh­bours. Break the si­lence. Shat­ter the taboo. Speak up. We can­not be a lesser so­ci­ety in the bed­room.

More im­por­tantly, ask your­self: Is your wife liv­ing with a rapist?
It’s a tough ques­tion.  As of now, it’s a moral ques­tion. This de­bate wants to make it a le­gal ques­tion.