The proverbial tail of this lapdog is long and severely twisted. Since its birth, it has been barking and biting many -for no rhyme or reason. It has downgraded the proverbial loyalty of dogs. This dog was supposed to protect and guard democracy but instead, it construed loyalty as subservience. Its ferociousness has subdued many. It has a lot of sting and stench to garner similar pedigree who join the Noise Syndrome every night -those who patronise it and others who unwittingly are prey to his bait, or shall I say bite. Who will tame it, how and when asks WSN editor Jagmohan Singh -tongue-in-cheek. Read and Enjoy.

THE ALL INDIA DOGS ASSOCIATION HELD AN URGENT MEETING YESTERDAY, in the early hours of the morning at Jantar Mantar -the common protest site in the national capital of India -New Delhi. They were there even before the Delhi Police personnel could join duty, as they were scared that they may be shooed away because they had not taken permission from the Parliament Police Station nearby. I got wind of the meeting from one of my friendly dogs. At a respectable social distance, I heard one participant pedigree after another vet our their anger at human beings. They used low bow-wow to voice their views about human beings, especially protestors -who take them for granted.

The leader of the group said, “While we are grateful for the love and warmth that some humans shower at us, we are really disturbed about the regular jibe against us at the drop of a hat.”

As policemen with batons started to leisurely stroll questioning protestors who had made the spot their home because of long-standing issues, the dogs huddled together and unanimously passed resolutions. The details of the meeting were transcribed by one of the dogs, who was well-versed in Hindi and English. He told me, “I had learnt the languages so that we could counter the propaganda against the dog fraternity by the Indian mainstream media.”

“The All India Dogs Association condemns the routine comparison of indiscreet, undemocratic, brute and unwelcome human behaviour with dogs.”

In an unequivocal stand, the first resolution laid the intentions of the canine fraternity. It read, “We are good citizens. Religious texts have extolled our qualities and millions around the world enjoy our company in the comfort of their homes. We, dogs are not like this. There are some lapdogs, but generalising it is unacceptable. The All India Dogs Association condemns the routine comparison of indiscreet, undemocratic, brute and unwelcome human behaviour with dogs.”

“We lend our full support to the rights of the farmers, whose fields we extensively use, most of the time without their permission. We appeal to all Farm protestors in particular and humanity at large not to use any idiom to describe stupid human behaviour and discriminatory barking of a lapdog with the animal dog as this is an insult to doghood.”

Upping the ante, the association stated, “This meeting warns those humans who use dog barks to push through their agenda and freedom of speech to desist from doing so. If there is no change in their behaviour, we will appeal to the All-World Dogs Association and ask them to take it up with the Animal Rights section of the United Nations.”

“This meeting warns those humans who use dog barks to push through their agenda and freedom of speech to desist from doing so.”

This anger amongst dogs and especially the barks of the lapdog is having a domino effect in Punjab and India. Social media is agog with funny memes about such lapdogs that people have started taking action. Respecting dogs and their wishes, in Punjab, people have started asking their DTH and Cable suppliers to stop airing the views of this dangerous breed. Participants in the Farmers Morcha have put up signboards selling them as they are tired of the barks and the resultant pollution of the environment. They have even started to shoo away the lapdog’s kith and kin.

When this reporter spoke to young protestor Sukhchain Kaur, who loves dogs, she said, “We will remove those who bark without reason, so that we can continue to respect our beloved dogs.”

Hmmm, the lapdog is Republic and his sister Republic Bharat, which has been barking hatred since birth. In the last one month, since Punjab farmers laid siege to Delhi, this street dog has been calling farmers names and has been seriously jeopardising their bargaining potential. I could not hold back remembering that when it was born, I had penned that the Banana Republic will stifle the voice of sanity.

In the United Kingdom, OFCOM -the regulatory authority of Broadcast Journalism has provided some antidote to its bite -imposing a penalty as it barked so much that they could not take it anymore. They had to stop the spread of Sikhanthropy -hatred of Sikhs and Punjab and Islamanthropy -hatred of all things Muslim. Will the penalties, if paid, prevent the lapdog from biting more people?

As this lapdog plans to spread its virus across India and the world, we have to research new methodologies and medicine as we have done for COVID19, otherwise, the effect can be catastrophic.

The Shivsena-Congress government in the Indian state of Maharashtra attempted to put a leash but it was not strong enough for this unique pedigree. As this lapdog plans to spread its virus across India and the world, we have to research new methodologies and medicine as we have done for COVID19, otherwise, the effect can be catastrophic.

As I was leaving Jantar Mantar, the general secretary of the All India Dogs Association was telling its president, “We really thank the farmers for identifying friends and foes. We thank the British authorities for levying fine on this black sheep from our community and we hope that the Shivsena will take some more strong action to keep this lapdog on the leash.”

Bow Wow. Vow!!